Saturday, 25 February 2017

CPE Writing correction and Feedback

Buenos dias Gustavo,
Te mando un ejercico que he realizado del WRITING PART1 para ver si me lo podriais corregir, como he visto que pone en vuestra web.
Me lo estoy preparando por mi cuenta y la verdad es que no tengo manera de saber como ando en la competencia de WRITING, por lo tanto estoy muy agradecido por tu iniciativa. Muy buena web por cierto, me esta siendo de gran utilidad.
Muchas gracias
Un saludo
Amit


Wealth, the final frontier
Does Economic wellbeing bring happiness?

(Feedback- Students usually start with an introductory paragraph. It should be 3-4 lines long and it states the topic that both texts have in common. You can see some examples in the blog)

Some people feel strongly against this way of thinking. Wealth is measured in relation to the wealth of others, so effectively; our happiness would be dependent on those around us, when ideally it should be under our control. Additionally, the elation and feeling of happiness we receive from consuming products (be it a house, a car, a mobile phone or the latest ikea kitchen gadget) is short-lived and we immediately want more, never really getting satisified. It is a never ending circle which keeps us in what some call the rat race. (Students usually start this paragraph with: The first text...)

On the other hand, some think that money does bring happiness, but the reasons are to be found after delving deeper. Money or banal possessions will does not bring meaningful happiness or long term satisfaction, but money can be the means through which we can access services and tools by which we can attain a higher state of wellbeing. which DOES satisfy us. So being wealthy would be the means to an end, not the end in itself. (Students usually start this paragraph with: The second text...)


As I see it, wealth is not necessary for happiness but it can help as us it allows for being independent, economically independent, ( check this part) and that can bring about a big change in our lives. But it does not automatically bring happiness. That depends on us. It is up to us to focus correctly, not getting blinded by the ambition for more, but instead leading a lifestyle which satisfies us. In conclusion, doing things which really quench our intellect and heart be it travelling, creating, spending time with our loved ones, developing our hobbies, helping others, and long and varied, etc. as these necessities change from person to person. So what makes you happy?  (Essays are rather formal, so do not end one with a question. I suggest also that you make this conclusion paragraph shorter, ideally 3-4 lines max)

Friday, 24 February 2017

C1 en CUID (centro de idiomas a distancia) de UNED

Hola Gustavo,
he descubierto tu blog sobre el C1 y me sirve de gran ayuda. Adjunto te envío un writing para que me des tu opinión y corrijas lo que sea necesario.
Gracias de antemano y un saludo,
Elena Ramos



Task

Write a review on a film or TV series that you like. Please try to stick to the word limit (200 words)


A review. 
(Give us a better title...A review on...)

The bridge is a police drama TV series set in Scandinavia and the third season was released last year. It was broadcasted on BBC4 channel and on AXN in Spain.

The first episode begins when a woman´s dead body is found in the middle of the bridge marking the border between Sweden and Denmark. Not only was she killed, but also her body was cut in half. After some inquiries are carried out, it is discovered that each half belongs to a different body. A Danish inspector and a Swedish police woman work together to find out who the killer is.

The main characters are Saga who suffers from Asperger syndrome, a disorder characterized by asocial behaviour, difficulties in social interaction and understanding others´ feelings. On the one hand, human relationships are hard for her but on the other hand she has a very high intelligence quotient. Martin is a Danish police inspector, he is a gentle family man and despite being so different from Saga, he becomes a great support for her. Feedback: I suggest that you write this paragraph again: The Main two characters are police officers, Saga and Martin, who are played by actors... (tell us a little bit about the actors, are they famous? are they convincing? why do you like them?) 

The great strengths of the series is how the characters unfold and the worrying atmosphere in which the brilliant acting takes place along all the episodes. The plot picks you up and gets gradually more exciting and thrilling. (Tell us more, who is the director? is the music good? are there action scenes? and special effects??? )

For all lovers of crime and thriller, this TV series is a must. Not only is a gripping story, but it also reflects the complexity of human behaviour.


Wednesday, 22 February 2017

CPE Letter to the Editor Correction

Hola, he leído en vuestra web que ayudáis a corregir writings, lo cual me alegra, porque quiero sacarme el c2 y al trabajar no tengo tiempo de ir a una academia, y claro necesito una ayuda con la parte del writings para saber cómo lo estoy haciendo.
Espero q me podáis ayudar.
saludos!!!

Raquel Vilaplana



Task: you have recently become aware of a situation which you believe to be wrong or unjust and which you think should be dealt with by the authorities.Write a letter to a newspaper clearly describing  that situation ,explaining the problems it causes and saying what you believe should be done about it:


Dear Sir or Madam,

Unfortunatelly bullying is increasingly affecting more and more schools. I currently work as a teacher at St Patirck’s school, and sadly I have to witness situations of bullying almost every day. This unfair and dramatic situation urge to be sttoped,  otherwise it will get more and more complicated. (Feedback: avoid repeating words)

Me, along my workmates My colleagues and I have reported  this issues to the school’s direction, and they transmitted to informed us that the situation is in the hands of the main authorities, which is a good sign, as it means  that the problem is being revised reviewed. However, the process is taken taking too long and time is very important in this situation as the health of the affected students is under threat both, physically and psycologically. So, in the meantime  we consider that something else should be done from the school’s direction, in order to reduce the amount of children being disturbed.

When I first started working here, clearly the situation was in control, it could be maybe there were one or maybe two incidents per month which were dealt successfully with the help of psycologists. Now, after one year, the number has increased alarmingly, and the situation is out of control, there is just one psycologist for the whole school, which used to be enough when everthing was under control ,but now, obviously external  help is needed, for instance, more psycologists and more supervision on the abusers. We, as teachers have been asked to keep an eye with on the problem,but they have to consider that we can not continuously interrupt the classes as the lessons need to be carry on.

It would be greateful  if this letter could be published on your newspaper with the aim of  make making the readers aware of it, and hopefully accelerate the authorities´ work in this worrying social phenomenom.


Yours faithfully
Name

Words: 299 


Feedback: 

- The most important one is probably to avoid repeating words. It shows that you lack vocabulary and that you don´t proofread. 

-Another thing to consider is the number of words. Which is not stated in the task. 

Apart from that well done and keep the good work !

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

FCE Writing Correction and Feedback

Hola! he visto en tu página que se te pueden mandar writings para corregirlos.
Te mando un essay para el first y si puedes ayudarme, lo agradezco!

Saludos!

Karin


FCE ESSAY
Is it better to have older or younger parents?


Due to factors like the economic crisis and the need to find good jobs, many people delay having children and become parents at a rather old age. But is it good for children? I believe there are actually many advantages in having young parents. 


First of all parents and sons have more things in common because the generational gap between them is thin. They are likely to share hobbies, music and taste for trips, which contributes to a good relationship.

Secondly, they have a similar way of doing things and understanding the world. It is possible for them to talk about everything, put in each other´s shoes and find solutions to problems 

Thirdly, they share more or less the same level of energy. An old parent will have more difficulty in teaching their children how to ride a bike, just to give an example.

To conclude, I think that, it is better to have young parents. They share more things with you and they even understand you better.


Words: 180



Feedback.

1. Respect the number of words. The original text had 210 words, so I had to reduce it,
2. It was written from an adult''s perspective, but the question is: is it better to have older parents?
So, I re-wrote it as if a young person was answering.

Monday, 30 January 2017

CPE writing correction: Essay


Hi Gustavo,

I'm sending you my first essay I wrote for Part 1 of the writing test. This must be the hardest part of the exam since I have no reliable way of knowing just how good my writing is and what grade it will merit. So any feedback will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Best Regards,
George 

P.S. Pay no heed to the title, it was a joke between me and my teacher :)

 Oxford's Proficiency Masterclass Oxford's Proficiency Masterclass



Burn the zoos! Hang the keepers!
(unabridged version. also the only one)


Does conservation justify incarceration? That is a dilemma zoo opponents raise. Crammed zoo enclosures, they say, are hardly appropriate for wild animals which regularly exhibit physical and mental discomfort in captivity. On the other hand, those in defense of zoos insist that they are instrumental in keeping animal extinction at bay.

Our understanding of animals has come a long way from perceiving them as mindless automations. Today, we are well aware of the fact that their inner world is every bit as sophisticated as even our own. Can we then in good conscience continue to deprive them of their freedom, knowing full well the anguish this entails?